Thursday, July 2, 2009

Hit me with your best shot...

It is evening time. A man walks into his house, straight to the refrigerator, grabs a beer, and sits on the couch to watch some TV. After a little while his wife calls from the kitchen saying that dinner is ready. He grumbles as he gets up from the couch grabs the paper to sit down at the table and read while he eats. His kids fight at the table, wishing for a glimmer of attention from their patriarch, but to no avail. By the end of the meal, his wife has tried to converse multiple times and he has snapped back with sharp words that hurt her feelings. They go to bed fighting, only to wake up the next day and repeat the same events.

This is the American family. This is a man.

Or is it?

It seems that in our current age there are three basic images of men that are portrayed by the media in TV shows, movies, and even ads. The first of these is the “Family Guy”. This man has 2-4 kids who are constantly trying to get their father’s attention. He has a wife with whom he picks fights almost daily by saying things that hurt her feelings, not helping around the house, and even not biting his tongue when there is something that bothers him. He looks at other women and thinks, why couldn’t I be with her? He hates his dead-end job and would rather sit on the couch basking in the glow of his plasma screen TV with his buddies and a beer than to take his kids to a park or read them a story. This guy is usually portrayed as miserable and bitter.

The next kind of guy that you see is the “Player”. This guy is a single guy who womanizes at every chance. He plays the market with no concern for the hearts he breaks or the hurt he might cause. His biggest fear is that one of his “scores” will end up calling him with the three dreaded words: “I am pregnant” or even worse “I love you”. He parties with his friends and has no deep relationships to speak of. He usually seems happy on the surface, but constantly surrounds himself with friends and promiscuous women because he is so lonely.

The final guy that is becoming increasingly popular in sitcoms and movies is the “Flamer”. This guy is very eccentric and usually openly gay. They are often portrayed as having lots of female friends and often are looking for their next relationship.

So this shows that there are essentially three types of guys out there. But where are the dads of yesterday? Where are the honorable young men? Are there none?  This attack on men has led most people to believe that the Al Bundy’s, Homer Simpsons, Charlie Harpers, and Will Truman’s of the world are what men are, or at least should be. Men have been belittled to a point where we feel that we should fit into one of these categories.

God created us in HIS image. The image of a Father and a Son. The image of a protector. The image of a provider. The image of a leader. Do any of the men portrayed display those qualities? He then gave man woman as his companion. 1 man and 1 woman to be together for their entire lives, united in marriage as one flesh. Two of the three of these images have no children. Two have no wives. One has a wife, but wishes he didn’t.

So, though the media doesn’t acknowledge his existence, allow me to introduce the fourth type of guy. This is “Real” man. “Real” man gets up early each day and helps with some household chores before going to his job. He may love what he does or he may hate it, but he goes without complaint. He knows that he needs to provide. He works a full day and then returns home leaving work at work and getting ready for his evening. When he gets home, he greets his wife and kids with hugs. He then plays with his kids until dinner time, reading to them, taking them fun places, and enjoying his children. The whole family eats together and enjoys conversation with each other. After dinner, they may go their separate ways for a while, but it is always somewhat together, meaning that if his wife is running errands, he will take the kids for a walk, or if he is fixing something, she will keep the kids.

Real man loves his wife. There is no person on earth he would rather be with. He would gladly give up everything to get her to Heaven. He tries to do nice things for her, even if they are things he doesn’t enjoy. He never counts his sacrifices and never keeps a tally of his good deeds. He loves his kids and knows that God has entrusted them to his care. He knows that they need to be well formed for when they take on the world. He knows that he must teach his sons how to be a “Real” man and teach his daughters to avoid the other three types. He knows that his children will grow up fast and so to avoid missing their childhood, he makes sacrifices to spend time with them whenever he can. He should be their hero and protector. Real man may not be perfect, but in many ways, he is a superhero. In many ways, he is an image of the Eternal Father.

So though Real Man has been hidden from the mainstream, I have discovered that he is out there. There are lots of Real Men and guys striving to be real men. So to the media out there who want to tell us that we don’t exist or tell us that guys are supposed to be less than what we were created for, I say this: “Hit me with your best shot…” because with the Father above as an example, and the Real Men that I’ve met in my life, we will pull together and while the other guys are out there aborting their babies or preventing them from ever being born, we are raising the next generation and teaching them well. Soon enough, “Family Guy” will just give up, “Players” will be too old to play, and “Flamers” will flame out. The “Real” man will be left standing with his 20+ grandkids and a close, virtuous family who still look to him for protection. While the other three will eventually grow old and die, the “Real” man will live on through the kids that he raised.

But now, I’m back to my mission…

For Whom the Bell Tolls…

There is a quote that has been passed down since 1624 that was written down by an English writer named John Donne. He writes,

“and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.”

What does this mean? It means that no man is invincible. Any one can die at any time. Whether it be the 99 year old man who has lived a full life or the toddler who is just learning to walk. The old saying in football is that any team can win on “Any given Sunday”. Well carry this saying over to life because Any person can die on any given day. We never know when it is going to be our time.

In recent weeks, if you’ve been watching the news at all, you’ve heard of celebrities dying left and right. Some were older (Ed McMahon was 86). Some weren’t that old (Michael Jackson and Billy Mays were both 50). Some had battled illness (Farah Fawcett had cancer). In local news we have seen six young people (aged 15-30) in the last couple of weeks in the immediate area. We’ve also had brothers pass in the same week, elderly passing unexpectedly and when it was their time. All the deaths may seem morbid, but it helps me to make my point. These people were all over in terms of age and location. They may have been famous or virtually unknown. It didn’t matter as they took their last breath of life – they all were mortal and they are all dead.

This brings me to my point. You always hear people say that you should live each day like its your last, but nobody does. It is hard to do that because if you really knew it was your last day – I doubt you would go to work. I doubt you would just sit down after dinner tonight and flip on the TV. I bet you wouldn’t go out for a drink with your friends instead of coming straight home to your family. I bet you would call all your loved ones who were far away. Would you take out a large insurance policy to protect your family (assuming you knew enough in advance)? More importantly than those things – would you be ready to face your maker? Are you in a state of mortal sin? Would you be able to look God in the eyes and say that you did your best with what He gave you? Would you be able to say that you loved Him above all things? Had you turned your back on temptations and lived exactly according to His plan? The point is that we don’t prepare ourselves for death because it is not expected.

Many of us would not be ready for this. That is why sudden deaths are so hard on us. It is my goal to start making sure that I am more prepared. I will do my best here on earth and hope that one day I may stand before Jesus in all His glory, in His splendor that we can’t even imagine, and when He judges me, I pray that I will be worthy to join Him for Eternity. Because, as one of my favorite quotes says:

In the end, forever, you and I will be in Heaven or Hell. Period. – Fr. Corapi

Let’s all strive for Heaven.

And now, I’m back to my mission…