He was a good man...

Have you ever been to a funeral for someone and in the eulogy they repeatedly say "He was a good man..." or "He is in a better place.."? Sometimes this might be true and that person is making a quick trip to a seat at the head table in Heaven. Other times, you hope the person made it to purgatory. Still other times you have to wonder if the eulogizer even knew this person.

While I haven’t been to a lot of funerals in my life and I genuinely believe that most of the funerals I have been to were for good people, a line in a book I was reading (Be a Man by Fr. Larry Richards) asked, “What will people say at your funeral?” That got me thinking… (uh-oh, now’s your chance to get out before I rant!)

When people die, we always try to say nice things. We’ve all been taught, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all”, but why do people feel the need to say, “He was a good man” or “He’s in a better place” even when they don’t necessarily believe it? Is it better to lie about someone or just remain silent or just say, “I’m sorry for your loss”?

When I pass away, I do not want someone just to say nice things about me. The only way I want those words uttered is if I was really a good man or if people who knew me think that I will be joining our maker in Heaven. I’m a far cry from that right now, but I work toward it every day.

I want people to be honest about me, but here are some things I hope they say (not in any order):
 “That guy loved his wife.”
“He was a good father.”
 “He always stood strong for the Church.”
“He was a good friend.”
“He was a hard worker.”
“He was good at his work.”
“He was a good coach.”
Etc.

That is the guy I strive to be. I know I’m a far cry from perfect, but part of my mission is to have these things said about me when I go – and have them be true.

So I’m back to my mission…

50 things every man should be able to do

Came across this very well done article on 50 things every man should know (or learn) how to do. I may put together my own list in the future, but this is a good start.

Sorry for the lack of posts...

I've been meaning to post here more frequently. I took a long break over the winter and intended to blog often this spring/summer. Life and work have been really busy lately and the posts just don't happen as often as I want them to. I do have ideas and thoughts to share, but I just haven't gotten them from that tangled web I call a brain to this little text editor we call blogger. However, I do intend to start posting more often, and I want to try to keep my posts a little more entertaining. I've got some really good ideas, just need the time. The other problem is that I decided to start another blog and while I don't post on that often either, it makes my posts here even less frequent.

Now I'm back to my mission!

Hush little baby...

I love being a parent. I sit here right now holding my little peanut who woke up early this morning and will only sleep if we hold her. What memories this brings back...

She had a rough babyhood. She was dairy intolerant and was very difficult to get to sleep at night. I spent many a night holding her in the rocking chair until I would trade off with my wife about 1 or 2 in the morning so that I could get a little sleep before work the next morning. At first it was so frustrating. Why wouldn't she just go to sleep?!? She was so tired that she would doze off and then wake up screaming in pain. After a few weeks of my wife being off dairy things got better, but there were still a lot of nights spent with her because of all the things out there that sneak dairy in where you weren't expecting it. Things like sausage, hot dogs, spaghetti sauce, and bread! It made for a lot of nights where we woke up ready to go back to bed. Finally at nine months she was over it. She will turn 2 on Sunday. Since she was 9 months, I've spent a few nights in the rocking chair with her, but they are far between. It's is funny how God does things sometimes. When I was spending all those nights with her it was a tough job. Now as I sit here holding her, I'm thinking that I almost miss it a little bit. There is nothing quite like sleepy snuggles.

I just wonder what goes through her head, both now and back then. Am I her comfort? Am I protection against something? Does my holding her while she sleeps sooth her on some deep level?

Is that what Heaven will be like? Our comfort and protection holding us in His arms, soothing our souls on a level we can't even imagine? It will be even better than that...

Like a 2x4 to the head...

Growing up, I lived in a small town that had no stop lights. There were stop signs, but to this day you will not see a red light for more than 20 miles in any direction. Since moving to the city, I have discovered that I have a curse... I hit every red light possible. The lights see me coming and quickly turn red. I noticed this once when I was in a hurry on the way home from work and hit each of the lights along the way red. I began to pay attention and it was just uncanny. I pointed this out to my wife. She thought it was an exaggeration, but after taking note, she began to see that I hit red lights constantly. A trip to the grocery store would mean stopping at every red light when I was along, or hitting less than half by herself. This was incredibly frustrating to me and I began to try to find ways to avoid waiting at lights constantly.

This went on for a while, but recently we were in a hurry and my curse was in full effect. I was hitting every red light and was frustrated with a number of things about traffic that day. Trying to calm me down, my wife pointed out that maybe the red lights weren't a curse, but rather a message. "Maybe the lights are God's way of saying, 'I love you.'" Nothing like a shot of reason to bring things into perspective. I've been thinking about this a lot lately and noticing it while I drive. It did help to think of it that way.

Then the other night as my daughter was playing the "chase the dog" game, I said to her, "Wait! Stop for just a second." I took her up on my lap, gave her a hug, and told her that I love her. Then I let her down to chase the dog. [2x4 to the head]

I realized that just like my wife said, each red light that I hit might be God's little way of saying "Stop for just a second! Do you know that I love you?"

I think sometimes God's little messages are so subtle that I miss them.

And now, trying to pay attention to those little messages, I'm back to my mission...

How to Defeat a Knight

How to Defeat a Knight

(A guide for dragons)

1. Begin by finding a field in which you can excel.
2. Next find a weakness in said knight.
3. Begin attacking that weakness with a strong force.
4. All the while you are attacking, find another weakness, maybe two.
5. When the knight begins to overcome your attack on the first weakness, attack the second while maintaining his attention on the first front.
6. Laugh as the trick works and you catch a knight while he is off guard.

I have encountered a dragon who had found these steps in an ancient scroll from the original dragon. He proceeded to attack me using my allergies to wear me down. While I waged a full on battle with my allergies, he used two of my other weaknesses (security and my girls) to launch attacks on two weak fronts. After being violated by a break in, I found that my feeling of security was gone. I had just enough defenses to counter this attack, but had my legs cut out from under me when my two girls came down with high fevers. The dragon stood over me beaming and trying to decide where to deal the death blow...

One thing the dragon failed to account for is that buried next to that there is another Writing in existence that I have become acquainted with. It is a Shield that cannot be penetrated, and with the utterance of a small prayer, I looked up to see the dragon's smirk leave his face as my shield flew into place and with one swoop - it was over.

The LORD is my light and my salvation; Whom shall I fear?
The LORD is the defense of my life; Whom shall I dread?

Psalm 27:1

I picked myself up and dusted myself off. Then I knelt down and gave praise to He whom protects me.

I sought the LORD, and He answered me and delivered me from all my fears

Psalm 34:4

Turns out a little virus can knock you down, but you just have to get back up to your knees and keep on keepin' on.

And now, with another dragon slayed, I'm back to my mission...

Blessings in disguise...

It has been a long time since I took a time-out from my mission. I really intend to get back to this more often, but I have been very busy. Life has dealt me some blows - I thank God that He has blessed me with the battle gear I need to make it through. Our family has pulled together and become a much stronger unit. That is what separates success from failure in families. When life pulls out that 2x4 and smacks you upside the head, there are two ways to respond. The first is to lose faith, to develop an attitude of "Why me?" and "Why does God let bad things happen to good people?" The second is to remember that God will not deal you a deck that you can't handle. Look at the cards He has given you. Even if you feel like you have a pair of 3's, bluff - the devil doesn't know any better. Stare him down knowing that if all God gave you was those 3's, the most that anyone who is against you has is a pair of 2's.

Despite the rough times we have had recently, my wife and I can't help but be amazed at how incredibly blessed we are. Throughout the turmoil that was last fall, I managed to get a job I love, that has better pay and benefits. We have two beautiful little girls who, though they have their moments, are becoming amazing young ladies. We have a new dog, who we are finally getting to enjoy outside. And to top it all off, God willing, this summer we will welcome our third daughter into our home.

Sometimes God blesses us in ways which we can't quite explain. At the time, they may not seem like it, but in retrospect, they are blessings. We almost bought a house last summer, which given the fall we had, would have become more of a curse than a blessing. God closed that window, which turned out to be a trap door. I guess it turns out that He really does know what is best for us. I don't always like what the cards look like, but in the end, I know that the deck is truly stacked in my favor.

Gotta love poker metaphors, right? And now, enough of card games - I'm back to my mission...